Longing - Breathing In Her Sleep

It was late, past midnight and I was trying to get to sleep while mindlessly scrolling through videos and feeds when I came across a story from a stranger, recounting a shared moment with his girlfriend that caught my attention. It evoked the exact feeling of longing. An unmet need, an insatiable craving of something you had once or perhaps never had before, but you instantly and fiercely desired. 

Breathing In Her Sleep

I don't recall what prompted the story, but his retelling of the incident was both well-crafted and evocative. He explained how he worked long nights, returning to the home he shared with his girlfriend only to find her fast asleep in bed. He described how whenever he touched her shoulder, her breathing would change. It slowed gradually to a calmer rhythm, as if to show that even in her state of slumber, her body instinctively recognized his touch. And his touch signaled he was home, which made her calmer and safer. It was an intimate detail that stirred a deep pang within me—a feeling of longing.

The first part of longing is desire. Desire is a positive emotion that sparks a want, a sense of momentum and the feeling of being alive. I enjoyed feeling desire. However, it was the following tinge of sadness that sometimes made the longing almost unbearable. It resembled the feeling of an oasis forever out of reach or gazing at a picture of a beautiful city you never had the chance to visit.

I yearned for that primal bond between two people, where bodies could instinctively recognize each other's touch—a profound sense of safety and familiarity, a feeling of home.